so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
