you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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