the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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