i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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