drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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