I want to have your abortion
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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