His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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