I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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