yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I can text with my tongue
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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