Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All the doctor said was why
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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