I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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