she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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