Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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