what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
