just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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