we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
