dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
