I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
