I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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