I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
