margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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