How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
