Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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