that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize