Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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