I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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