come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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