So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
