tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
