Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
