this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize