I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
