How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My vagina just clenched in fear
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