you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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