Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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