I must be too annoying 4 u.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
