Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
