I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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