I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
