Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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