I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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