the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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