remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
