I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you win again, gameday.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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