We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
