Don't you send me to vm
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
