But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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