those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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