I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
