so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.