I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.