cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....