: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my phone needs a breathalizer
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
