Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
