Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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