i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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