Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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