Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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My liver just had a heart attack.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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