Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
