Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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