i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
