He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
