You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and you said cock pushups were impossible
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
