y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
