'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
